A Tale of Two Closets

I am taking a break from my "New Me" posts this week. I owe this self-imposed hiatus to the fact that I ate like a boar at the beach and refuse to get on a scale until next week. So there.

Instead of sharing my health and weight short-comings, I will share one that is rarely known about me. I am a closeted mess. Literally. Our house generally looks neat. There are always a slew of recyclable bags on a dining room chair, little pug bunny balls of hair in the corners, and shoes by the front door, but generally speaking, our house is clean and tidy. Except for one place. My closet.

A few months ago I filled a huge plastic bag with clothing that no longer fits over my right thigh, much less both thighs, tank tops that only have string in the back, and dresses that no longer cover my rear. A real classy youngin I was. Around the same time I made a pile of my dry cleaning, which is really known as those clothes I forget I have because I refuse to pay someone else to "clean" them and when I do they come back smelling more like B.O. and much less like my detergent. Because of the piles on my closet floor, I have begun to throw other things down in there...It's already dirty, what's the harm in a little more?

For weeks, KP has been chastising me to clean it. He refuses to put my clean laundry away (his part of the never-ending clothes cleaning process). He now hangs my clothes on the closet door.

Today I saw my mess for what it is. I was only able to understand the confusion I had created by comparing it to a clean space. When I walked into KP's closet to check on the status of his one and only suit for a wedding this week end, I felt refreshed. Nothing on the floor. Nothing in piles. Boxes and shoes lined up. WOW! It made me want to lay on the floor in the center of his closet and move my arms up and down in hopes of making carpet angels. There is that much room.

So without further adieu, here are our closets:

Yes, our extra crystal and Christmas boxes live in his closet. There's no room in mine.

I am going to pick it up right now. Stop judging me.

New Me: Week 9: What Diet?

It's official, I like to be fat. And for those of you that get miffed when I call myself fat, I like to be too heavy for me in my own skin. There.

I lost nothing this week and I know why; I didn't try! My week was hectic last week, so I skimped on working out. Then the in-laws cam in town, and along with them came beer, wine, Mexican food, and munchies. Then I still didn't care.

Last night was the worst. For the last few days I have been fearing that I am knocked up. Fearing because I am just not ready. I haven't switched insurance. I haven't paid all the bills from my surgery earlier this year. I want to sell a few more houses. I am going to the beach and would like a low calorie margarita, please.

So, after a few hours of watching KP do some repairs at a client's house, we came home very hungry and in no mood to cook. It was 9 pm. I tried to think of the healthiest fast food thing I could...how about KFC? (Honestly, try their grilled chicken.) I decided on the way home I would pick up some pregnancy tests and sneak them in. After waiting in line for 15 minutes, not kidding, I got to the window and they said,

"Oh you don't have cash?"
" No, I don't have cash. Who ever has cash? Why?"
"Oh, we had a blackout and can't take credit cards."
"Why didn't someone tell me this when I ordered?"
Looking at her associate, "You didn't tell her?"
"Ok, I don't have cash. Do you have the manual credit card swiper?"
"What? You don't have cash?"

I drove away without food. I then pulled into Whataburger which also had a power failure, but kindly told me at the order spot. Then I quickly rounded the corner, asked myself why the hell I was going to multiple fast food joints at 10pm, and ordered at Jack in the Box. I ran into CVS, bought some tests, and then ate all of my curly fries on the way home. I even recognized the emotional eating pattern and did nothing to stop it!

I stuffed the tests in my purse, dropped the food on the kitchen counter, and went to the bathroom. Love digital tests. In less than 2 minutes, it clearly read, Not Pregnant. My heart slightly sank, then I quickly put on a brave face and went to stuff mini sirloin burgers into my mouth.

I woke this morning with a renewed feeling of gratefulness. I am not ready. And until I am, I need to get my ass in the gym.

And my review of mini-sirloin burgers? They are very delicious and *only* 800 calories, literally. And I promise to stay away from them.

All in a Day's Work

We still have lots to do, like buy a bed for the office, but all in due.
Here's the progress from today. Look below for "before" pics.


Happy husband. He hearts Ikea.

The new bookcase. I still need a few more boxes for sorting. Sure wish I'd had the energy to paint the file cabinet.

My new desk set up. Plus one furry, four-legged friend. He has become my shadow. The other two want me to bring a dog bed into the room so that they can be more comfortable. And yes, that's a wine glass on my coaster. How do you think I did this all in one day? Vino, baby.

This is the view as you walk into the room. Less than spectacular, I know. We are going to get this daybed. This will be our third bed thing in this room in almost as many years. This bed pulls out to make a king. I know a couple of people with this bed, so i feel pretty comfortable that it will be okay. If not, there's always Craig's List. The plan is to cover it in brown, white, and orange linens and tons of pillows so that when guests are not here it looks like a sofa of sorts. Just need to sell a few more houses until it reaches the top of the must have list.

I'll hide cords and hang pictures tomorrow, maybe.

As a side, what ever happened to Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam? That was some good stuff. Enjoy:

We don't Spring Clean, We Spring Overhaul

If you don't remember my office before, you aren't missing a thing. It was a hodge podge of junk from past lives. A bookcase that KP made, which while great, just doesn't fit in this house. KP's craft table from when he was a child was my desk, and will continue to be. We also had an array of different sofa/bed contraptions in there over the past four years. All were so uncomfortable that I either gave them away or sold them on Craig's List (that one was 2 months old!).


Oh, and what color was it before you ask? Well, two walls were the avocado color that's on the walls of our foyer and living room and two walls were flat white. We ran out of green paint 4 years ago and never went to get more! And while we are on the topic of flat paint, let me just say my finger tips are cringing as I type. There are few things in the world that feel worse to my flanges than flat paint and chalk. In fact, I ruled out teaching as a career based on my inability to hold chalk.


Last night we had to move everything from the office to other parts of the house to finally lay flooring today. While we had big plans for laminate or even tile, I could not get KP to commit to an install date, so carpet it is! Honestly, I could not care less. I am just so excited to have a floor!


So, here are some pictures of all of our carp all over our house and an empty office, with one coat of tan paint on the walls. The carpet installer is in there now. My goal is to have the walls painted by the end of the day, carpet installed, and possibly...just maybe build the huge bookcase we picked up at Ikea earlier this week. I need KP's help with that one though...have you ever tried to put Ikea furniture together?

Dining room, with my desk (aka KP's childhood craft table) hiding our actual dining table. Boxes and boxes of newly organized art supplies, photos, and stationary on our dining table. I seem to have a stationary and note card addiction that I have recently become aware of. The door belongs to the office as well.

The closet in the office, which has become my makeshift printer/fax/wireless internet hub.

The office, no floor (as it has been for 4 years), with one sloppy coat of tan paint.

I know you can't wait for what's to come!

New Me: Week 8 - Reality Hits and Bites

I lost another 0.5 lbs this week. While this is fine and dandy, the reality that I am going to be wearing a bikini on this blog has set in. I am already getting creative on how this will happen. I am not excited.

Now, don't think that I am an innocent person in the slow weight loss. I am most certainly not. Here's my problem. I work out all week, eat right, count all my precious points, and watch the LBs fall off. Then comes the weekend, over which I gorge. Margaritas, hamburgers, wine, beer (that I swore I wouldn't drink), and chocolate are consumed only partially guiltily.

Why can I not change?

Do I just not want it badly enough?

Pedicures and Martinis at the Club

KP decided to take a self-induced break from the sauce for a couple of weeks. While I am sure this is great for his liver, productivity, and other aspects of our life, he's starting to drive me bonkers.

KP is the ultimate busy body. You know what it looks like when a three-year old has to pee? Jumping up and down, moving feet anxiously? Well, that's what KP looks like in situations that require him to be calm, minus the crotch holding.

The first Christmas I spent with his family, we sat around and talked at the dining table for about an hour after dinner. KP, required to sit in a chair, had to do something to get his creative energy out; thus, he built a structure out of the left over asparagus. Thankfully, we were eating with his family and not mine. At the time, my Dad would have shared some tips on table manners. Now, he'd congratulate Kev-o, as he calls KP, on his engineering skills.

These past two weeks have been filled with work and projects for KP, including painting the exterior of our house, working 55+ hours this week, and mowing the lawn twice.


So, last night KP says to me, "Are you going to be around this weekend? There are projects to finish around and I could use your help." And the way it sounds to me is, "How dare you have relaxed with a friend for 2 hours this evening. I busted my arse mowing the lawn after a 12-hour work day, and I even edged and blew the scraps away. You better help me finish painting the house this weekend."

I myself have been working like crazy for 12 days straight now, and am feeling like I need a weekend. Who cares if the house is only half painted and that all of the clean laundry is in a pile on the guest bed? I want to relax! I need to relax. Plus, I do have 2 clients that need attention this weekend, so I know I will be working some too.


My answer to KP should have been, "No hun, between pedicures and martinis at the country club, I won't have time for projects this weekend." Instead, for the sake of my marriage, I said, "of course, let's get up early and paint, then I can go on appointments, and maybe swim in the evenings." Just the weekend I was looking for.

The green house. It actually looks much greener in person. We need a new garage door, which we will paint brown. KP is building some sort of awning this weekend?

The well manicured lawn, cut on a diagonal, like a baseball field.

New Me: Week 7

Lost 0.5 lbs. That's it. I am stuck.