New Me: Week 9: What Diet?

It's official, I like to be fat. And for those of you that get miffed when I call myself fat, I like to be too heavy for me in my own skin. There.

I lost nothing this week and I know why; I didn't try! My week was hectic last week, so I skimped on working out. Then the in-laws cam in town, and along with them came beer, wine, Mexican food, and munchies. Then I still didn't care.

Last night was the worst. For the last few days I have been fearing that I am knocked up. Fearing because I am just not ready. I haven't switched insurance. I haven't paid all the bills from my surgery earlier this year. I want to sell a few more houses. I am going to the beach and would like a low calorie margarita, please.

So, after a few hours of watching KP do some repairs at a client's house, we came home very hungry and in no mood to cook. It was 9 pm. I tried to think of the healthiest fast food thing I could...how about KFC? (Honestly, try their grilled chicken.) I decided on the way home I would pick up some pregnancy tests and sneak them in. After waiting in line for 15 minutes, not kidding, I got to the window and they said,

"Oh you don't have cash?"
" No, I don't have cash. Who ever has cash? Why?"
"Oh, we had a blackout and can't take credit cards."
"Why didn't someone tell me this when I ordered?"
Looking at her associate, "You didn't tell her?"
"Ok, I don't have cash. Do you have the manual credit card swiper?"
"What? You don't have cash?"

I drove away without food. I then pulled into Whataburger which also had a power failure, but kindly told me at the order spot. Then I quickly rounded the corner, asked myself why the hell I was going to multiple fast food joints at 10pm, and ordered at Jack in the Box. I ran into CVS, bought some tests, and then ate all of my curly fries on the way home. I even recognized the emotional eating pattern and did nothing to stop it!

I stuffed the tests in my purse, dropped the food on the kitchen counter, and went to the bathroom. Love digital tests. In less than 2 minutes, it clearly read, Not Pregnant. My heart slightly sank, then I quickly put on a brave face and went to stuff mini sirloin burgers into my mouth.

I woke this morning with a renewed feeling of gratefulness. I am not ready. And until I am, I need to get my ass in the gym.

And my review of mini-sirloin burgers? They are very delicious and *only* 800 calories, literally. And I promise to stay away from them.